As far as I know my mother was eighteen when I was born and two years after that my parents divorced, since then she has been remarried she has had three other kids after me and because I only ever went and visited my mum, I did not really grow up around these three kids and with every visit I would grow more dislike towards having to go. Now, I know some of you may think I was being a spoiled child at the time but don't be so quick to judge, I had to sleep in a room with the eldest and she used to kick me in the head while I was trying to go to sleep, I know she wanted to talk but I just wanted to sleep because I didn't want to be there. Not only that, but I would always be honest when I was asked who started a fight or who did something wrong because it wasn't like I had a sibling connection, they were kids I didn't get a long with and because of my honesty in these situations by the end of my one week stay they would tell me to "go home" and say "we don't like you and we don't want you here". Granted this was back when they were younger and so was I and currently my eldest sister is age thirteen and the only brothers I have are currently age twelve and ten, so they must have somewhat grown up. It has been about two years since my last visit and even then it hasn't been a proper visit where I go by myself and stay for a week, the last visit was with my cousin and even then a night at my mother's felt like torture, and my last proper visit ended up with me calling my Aunty in the middle of the night to come pick me and calling my mother while she was at work telling her I was going home, I left the presents she had bought me there feeling like it would be really disrespectful and slack of me to keep them and she called me up and practically yelled at me for not taking them, since that day we haven't even called each other.
The story with my dad is a more positive one. He was, I believe twenty eight when I was born and since I was born we have always seemed to have a positive link, a bond that can never be broken, even though I don't remember I did read that I used to not want to leave my dad to visit my mum and my face would light up like the sun when I would return home to see my dad. Though I wasn't instantly under the custody of my dad, I have been under his care since the age of two, along with the help of my grandparents, my aunt and her husband/my uncle (now ex-husband though still an uncle to me because they were together for a LONG time). He has said that I am one of the reasons that him and my stepmother met, they were together eight years before they got married and I have a much stronger bond with my stepmother than I do my real mother. The strength of the bond between my dad and I is really quite strong, he has said that I am the reason he hasn't committed suicide and that if it wasn't for me there could be many times where he would have snapped, though it makes me sad to see that my dad feels like this, I am glad to know that I am so special to him.
Now, I think it took about 3-4 years after their marriage before my sister on my dad's side was born. I remember all the thoughts I had about her before she was born. A main one was "I don't want them to have a baby" and the only reason I thought this way was because I assumed she was going to be just like the siblings on my mum's side, I assumed she would make my life miserable and a living hell. Granted when I first saw Olivia I thought she was adorable and tiny and because I was there with my dad it made me feel like I wasn't going to disappear while the baby was at a young age. Eventually I fed her for the first time the day she came home and we got our first picture together.
Her character definitely grew on me and I love her dearly, the stories I have to share which is where I think my blog image will largely be heading towards. Though when I go to the shops with her, many people think I am her mother and I know that this isn't true but it is part of the reason I learned to ignore what other people think of you, because no matter what, you will be judged whether the claims are false or true. I learned to not hold my random and bold attitudes back and this is one of the many ways I grew as a person, I also know I will be great mother when I do decide to tie the knot and procreate with another human being.
Thanks for reading, love Natasha and Olivia :)
